


Carlisle Cullen: 1640 - 1930(ish)

by IGuessImWritingFanficNow



Series: The Cullen's - A History [1]
Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Blood, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Ive never done this before, Song fic, a whole lot of love for carlisle cullen, anyway, uh yea so enjoy, well not really i made a playlist then accidentally wrote a fanfic whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:22:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 3,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27827449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IGuessImWritingFanficNow/pseuds/IGuessImWritingFanficNow
Summary: hi! so this is a super short fic based off a playlist I made whilst procrastinating uni work. I sent it to friend along with a word document to explain each songs and I accidentally wrote a fanfic. I'm low key kind of proud of this so posting it here for others!would seriously recommend listening to the playlist whilst reading, cause it kind of adds to the fic especially if your not familiar with the song so linking it below. There's maybe more to come idk we'll seeplaylist: open.spotify.com/playlist/4SEJKW1R8vUwUpGWIQsVEm?si=qauNiEXXTK6Nw6D4kgkwXw
Relationships: Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen, Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen (eventually)
Series: The Cullen's - A History [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2036551
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	1. Human | Rag N Bone Man

_**London, 1640 - 1660** _

London, 1640’s. From the moment Carlisle’s enters the world, death has always surrounded him. His mother dies whilst giving birth, leaving his father alone with the reason his wife is no longer with him. His earliest memories are the smoke and screaming coming from the pyre, where his father had rounded up all those deemed unholy – _‘watch what happens to those who stray from the Lords light boy. Those who live in sin’_.

The revolution ends when he is nine and that dull, sickening thud of the headman’s axe coming down stays with him. His father, cold and cruel berates him for everything. He is a sinner and damned to hell unless he repents and lives a life free of sin, but nothing he ever does is never good enough. When he is sixteen, his father decides that he is old enough to do the Lord’s work. Its Carlisle’s job to find the unholy creatures of society and cleanse the earth of them. He does what he can to save a few, seeds of doubt beginning to grow about his father’s cruel faith.

Despite everything, he never loses his heart. The world may be cruel, but Carlisle refuses to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was born out of my inability to listen to music without thinking of fictional characters. Honestly, Carlisle's history and backstory hurts my heart and I love this boy so much. I promise it'll get happier ok?


	2. In The Woods | Hozier

_**London, 1663** _

He’s twenty-three. He’s managed to track down a group of demons that are living in a London sewer. He’s walking down the dark alley, torch in one hand, Holy Cross in the other. He thinks he sees something behind him and calls out, but it’s too late.

Something pounces at him, throwing him against a nearby wall, his head colliding with a sickening crack. His torch is thrown to the side and is extinguished, plunging him into darkness. Have the flames somehow reached his hand? fire seems to slowly crawl up through his wrist and spread into his arm.

The thing pounces again, this time aiming for his neck. Carlisle is sprawled out on the ground, neck damn near ripped open and screaming in pain. This time the fire has reached his neck, but there’s still no glow from the flames. The thing is about to finish him off when its head whips around. He hears something distantly…voices? They’re muffled by the screams and the agony, but suddenly the creature has run off leaving Carlisle writhing in a pool of his own blood.

He is now too weak to even scream and drags himself into the nearest cellar. By this point he’s worked it out, he knows what the creature was, what it did to him and writhes in silence hoping no one finds him cause he knows what will happen if he’s found and what his father will do. He had finally found a true vampire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know what they say kids, it's not your favourite character unless you put them through absolute hell!


	3. Cold | Aqualung & Lucy Schwartz

**_London, 1663 (4 days later)_ **

Carlisle slowly comes to his senses.

Four days of what feels like the fires of hell burning him from the inside, muffled screams, and whimpers to keep himself hidden. He knows what he has become and absolutely loathes it. He has become his own worst nightmare, a living purgatory.

He tries everything – jumping off cliffs, drowning himself, holy water, and stakes through the heart, but absolutely nothing works. He’s a monster and he can’t even end it. After weeks of futile attempts to destroy himself, he crawls into a cave, isolating himself from everyone. He cannot – **will not** become that. Again, he writhes in agony, but a different kind of agony this time. What has he done to deserve this, his father was right – he is a monster.

He spends months like this, feeling himself slowly weaken as the dryness in his throat worsens, but it’s not water he craves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> carlisle whump 2: electric boogaloo


	4. Dig Down | Muse

_**Scotland, 1664** _

Darkness descends all around him. He’s curled up in this dark cave, hiding from everything, praying for the madness to take him. No sign of light.

Then he smells it and suddenly he’s tasting it. For the first time in months, the dry agony in his throat is gone – not fully, but enough. He doesn’t want to look down, but he forces himself to, he has to face the monster he is.

A young fawn lies in front of him. It had probably strayed from its mother, panicked, alone and wounded. The scent of spilt blood activating some dark, subconscious part of Carlisle, forcing him to act without thinking.

Something shifts within him. For the first time in months, he feels…hope?. He doesn’t need to be a monster. There is an alternative. He begins to pick up the pieces of his broken faith, strengthening his will and separating himself from the monster within him. He will not let it define him. Carlisle may have been dealt a bad hand in life, but he will endure. He has found a way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in the words of the great prophet Hayley Williams - things are looking up, oh finally


	5. Demons | Imagine Dragons

_**London, 1665** _

It’s hard, and excruciatingly painful, and there are more than a few close calls, but he is determined. He begins to live off the blood of animals, overcoming the awful lust, regaining his strength and sense of self. He will not let the beast inside define him. It takes years, but he manages. Walking down a crowded street – he thinks he recognises it? He isn’t sure, everything from before seems so foggy. The dryness is suffocating but he manages it.

Maybe it’s just his subconscious, but people almost seem to cower away from him instinctively, as if they know deep down, that he is something to be feared, knows that he is hell bound just by looking at him. They are right. Carlisle would give anything to be one of them again, would sell his soul for it, but he has nothing left to give – his soul has already been claimed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if i had my way and got to make a Carlisle Cullen origin movie this would be a training montage scene a la rocky but in the middle ages and inspirational lute music instead of the rocky theme. or even better combine the two and have rocky on the lute


	6. Boulevard of Broken Dreams | Green Day

_**France, 1683** _

Twenty years into his damned existence, the monster has finally been tamed. He is able to walk amongst society again – but he walks alone.

He practices the art of medicine to try and repent for his evil by dedicating his life to helping others. He is stuck in limbo between two worlds. The natural predator within him keeping others away, and the human within him alienating him from his own kind. Eventually, he hears rumours of an Italian Vampire Coven, refined, and dedicating their life to the arts and hopes he will find his place amongst them,

The loneliness only gets worse in Volterra. He is mocked, ridiculed, treated like an oddity and above all faces constant from the leader Aro about his lifestyle and odd eyes. His loneliness worsens and he is forced to face the reality that the path he has chosen will only bring him solitude.

After ten years, he leaves Volterra and continues his path alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im very quickly running out of witty comments to make here sorry folks


	7. What A Catch, Donnie | Fall Out Boy

_**America, 1750(ish)** _

Carlisle’s loneliness reaches a peak. He thought life in America would be different, but nothing has changed. His routine for the next 100 years monotonous. He spends most of his days in whatever hospital he is in before coming home to no one. No one has called him anything other than ‘Dr Cullen’ in what seems like forever – and Carlisle would know.

His self-loathing starts to creep up on him again, and he begins to accept that he will never truly know love or companionship. He is a monster, how could he deserve anything that good or pure?.

He pours himself into his work even more to avoid that empty house, and moves from town to town, leaving all the people he could know, but can’t afford to behind. He knows that in order to find companionship, it would need to be someone like him – but he couldn’t damn someone else to eternity the way he was, so he endures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dude needs a hug am I right?


	8. Unforgettable | Nat King Cole

_**Ohio, 1911** _

Carlisle is working in a city hospital when one spring afternoon, a young girl is brought in by her parents. Around 16 years old – bright and bold. She broke her leg by falling out of a tree – _because it’s obviously the best place to read Doctor_ _Cullen_.

Whilst setting her leg, something about her draws Carlisle in. He finds himself telling her things that he’s never told anyone before, laughing to himself about how lonely he must be if a 16-year-old he’s never even met before gets him to bare his soul simply by asking – but then again, no one’s ever done that before.

He asks her a little about herself, smiling at the way she blushes when he compliments her artwork and quietly encourages her to follow the many dreams she gushes over whilst her mother looks on disapprovingly.

Whilst bandaging her leg, the girl bites her lip to stifle a cry of pain and that’s when he smells it. How he didn't notice it before he has no idea but now it's all he can focus on. Her blood is the sweetest he’s ever encountered, and he's momentarily distracted. He couldn’t take this wonderful girl out of the world before she's even lived her life. He pulls himself together before anyone notices.

As she is helped out of his office by her mother, he asks her name, and she blushes before answering.

Esme Platt will have a good life. She has to. She deserves it.


	9. Misguided Ghosts | Hayley Williams

_**Chicago, August 1918** _

Carlisle’s loneliness gets worse somehow. But it feels different this time, more like a longing. It’s like something inside him is missing but for the life of him he can’t work out what it is.

His routine of working before returning to an empty home seems even more excruciating than normal, and something about Chicago makes it worse. Maybe it’s the business of the city, or the tightly packed homes filled with families, but he feels like a ghost. Existing, but no one knowing. In some dark corner of his mind he’s thankful for the pandemic because it lets him work longer hours in the hospital and away from that empty home where he pretends he’s ok with being alone.

Watching families surround each other and huddle into packed wards to be with their loved ones fills him with an ache of longing. He looks at the Masen family. Mother, Father and Son, all together. It’s likely that none of them will last the week – in a way he envies them. At least they’ll all still be together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is inspired by our lord and saviour Hayley Williams, who I send thanks to daily for the masterpiece that is Petals for Armour (not sponsored)
> 
> also, as this one discusses the plague, a reminder for this Christmas. Wear a damn mask.


	10. Fix You | Coldplay

_**Chicago, September 1918** _

A Chicago hospital, late at night. Elizabeth Masen is on her deathbed, her husband had passed not an hour before. Carlisle watches from through the door. He had grown close to the Masen family during their stay, mother, and son especially.

Elizabeth was the definition of strength. Carlisle was constantly ordering her back into her own bed and tonight was no different. Despite being hours from her own death, she sits next to her seventeen-year-old son, stroking the hair off his sweat-filled brow. He has even less time than her. Carlisle enters the room and stands by the wall, silently observing the mother caring for her son.

Elizabeth turns and smiles at the doctor weakly. She has long suspected that there is something not quite normal about the good doctor, she is exceptionally intuitive – perhaps that’s where her son picks it up from. Carlisle knows she hasn’t got long left and helps her into her own bed, possibly for the last time. He takes her temperature, checks her vitals – slow and sluggish

As he turns to leave, Elizabeth uses what remains of her strength to grip the collar of his coat. Tears streaming down her face, she forces him to look into her eyes and begs. _‘You must do everything in your power…what others cannot do…that is what you must do for my Edward…I refuse to outlive my son’_. Something in Carlisle snaps, he knows what he has to do.

Elizabeth Masen gets her last wish, Edward Masen long outlives his mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wont lie to you, i got emotional for this one. Elizabeth Masen fascinates me though. Like did she know carlisle was a vampire? we know nothing about her and I'm devastated
> 
> also on a more vain note, this is one of my favourites. if you listen along to the playlist for any of them, listen to this one. It adds so much


	11. Your My Best Friend | Queen

**_Outskirts of Chicago, 1919_ **

_Oh god finally_.

Carlisle’s live gets exponentially brighter when a bright, witty young boy with an enormous heart crashes into his life. Over the course of Edwards newborn year, Carlisle and Edward grow from being doctor and patient to friends, to brothers and finally father and son.

Carlisle relishes in teaching Edward all about his new life, laughing as he watches a newborn Edward wrestle his first deer, racing through the woods, teaching him how to track prey and getting to know the teenager. Carlisle truly loathes the monster that he is, but a bit of company makes it so much easier. No more does he have to come back to an empty home, but a teenage boy eager to talk to Carlisle about the book he finished – _in twenty minutes Carlisle, twenty minutes!_ – or show off a new piece he learned on the old piano that came with the house _._

Edward may be broody, angsty, a bit of a moan, extremely challenging at times and a permanent invasion into his privacy, but honestly, Carlisle doesn’t even care – it’s all he has ever wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> carlisle really saw an absolute feral, moody, angsty edward and went 'i guess thats my son now'


	12. Take Me to Church | Hozier

_**Ashland, 1920** _

Carlisle didn’t mean it. He honestly didn’t. It was a late night in that tiny Ashland hospital – he doesn’t even have the excuse of exhaustion – but it was late, maybe even early. The rain was pouring down, maybe a storm? He doesn’t even remember.

A woman was brought in by fishermen, in her late twenties – broken and bleeding. He knows that scent anywhere. He doesn’t even need to look under that blanket to know who is underneath. Both times this woman has come into his life was after a fall, but not this – oh god not this. A suicide victim. Found at the base of the cliffs.

The only thing that is in Carlisle’s mind was _‘not her’_ , repeating over and over again like a prayer. He takes her body off the fishermen, signing the necessary paperwork and placing her in the morgue. What happened to that bright young girl from his office ten years ago?

Before he leaves the room, he hears – no it can’t be.

A heartbeat.

 _She’s alive_.

He doesn’t even think about it. Her blood spills in his mouth and it takes all his will and self-control not to drain her there and then, but he stops himself. Edward will be annoyed, of course he will.

He doesn't know what happened to her in those short 10 years but he will make sure Esme Platt has a good life. He has to. She deserves it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been a fan of this god awful series for a while now, and have only just realised that Ashland Ohio and Ashland Wisconsin are two different places after googling Ashland cliffs and finding a grand total of 0 cliffs in the Ohio one. @america some originality please


	13. Then Suddenly Love | Frank Sinatra

_**Wisconsin, 1921** _

Carlisle is…confused. Two hundred years he’s been on this earth. He’s probably met thousands, no – millions of women before her. What is it about this one woman that makes him feel…Lighter? Happier? Mildly sick?

She is utterly wonderful. Gentle, yet strong, and the biggest heart he’s ever encountered. She brightens every part of his life and whenever she is near him he feels lighter. He’s now eager to be finished work. He’s taking on less hours and when he is at work his focus isn't. Even other people are starting to pick up on it. Edward is laughing at him – which is in no way a new occurrence – but now it’s almost as like he knows something that Carlisle doesn’t.

Oh. _Oh no._

No that can’t be right. Carlisle isn’t that type of man, he doesn’t fall in love. It’s almost like fate is laughing at him for denying it, as it suddenly gets worse. Everything reminds him of her. The trees swaying in the wind remind him of Esme as she runs through the woods next to him, the curtains in the hospital ward turn into her caramel hair. The flame of the gas lamps in the hall? It’s her eyes.

Both times Esme came into Carlisle’s life was after she fell, so it’s only fair really that the score gets evened out a bit


	14. Chapter 14

_**Wisconsin, Summer 1921** _

All of the light airy feelings that Carlisle had before are gone, leaving only a gaping hole. Every time he looks at Esme it’s as if someone has carved a hole in his gut. There’s something about her (and he can’t even deny it anymore) that makes his two centuries of merely existing start to feel like a life.

Any other feeling that he has ever felt before has been completely eclipsed by the utter adoration he feels for her. The two of them have sat up in his office just talking for hours on end about nothing but also everything. Every conversation they have is somehow more valuable than the last one. He’s never had someone like this before – with Edward he didn’t have a choice over what he knew about him, but with Esme it's different. Choosing to bare your soul to someone, that’s different.

Talking to her makes him feel so strong but also so incredibly weak, invincible but vulnerable at the same time. For the first time, he feels like the twenty three year old he is. Every other goal or aspiration he has ever had goes out the window when he is near her, all he needs in life is to be something to her.

He knows Esme’s past, and he’d never dream of forcing her into anything or making her feel as if she owes it to him. He'd happily wait as long as she needs - he's certainly got the time. He’d settle just to be near her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> area man feels horny for the first time, is shocked


	15. She's Got A Way | Billy Joel

_**Wisconsin, Winter 1921** _

He wonders if she knows. He wonders if she knows how wonderful she is, how her smile seems to fix everything, how just being held by her completely erases every worry and stress that he has ever had.

How her utter courage and capacity to love despite everything that she has been through astounds him, and when he tells her, she just brushes it off as if it’s what everyone would do in that situation. She has gone through so much pain and suffering and sorrow and yet still chooses to be kind.

How she only needs to touch him, and he falls apart, completely losing his train of thought and just astounded that _she_ chose _him_.

Loving Esme is soft, and warm, and so _so_ easy. So when he finds himself down on one knee before he has even thought about buying a ring he doesn’t really mind, just because of how utterly right it feels. After two centuries of having no one, Carlisle suddenly has everything. A family.

He wonders how he ever got so lucky to call her his wife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> carlisle loves esme so much and they were exactly what they needed without even knowing that they needed it and I love them


	16. To Build A Home | The Cinematic Orchestra

_**America, 1927** _

Carlisle had a home. A family. The three of them living in their own corner of the world when it all suddenly came crumbling down.

The signs were there. Their normal squabbles had been growing increasingly heated, and when he wasn’t arguing with Carlisle, he barely spoke, withdrawing more and more into himself every day. He would leave suddenly on long hunting trips, with no explanation as to where he had been. Dust had started to gather on his piano.

Eventually, he returned one night, blood on his shirt as red as his eyes. He claimed that he did it for Esme, that _he_ had no right existing in this world after what _he_ had done to her. Words were said that neither truly meant, and then Edward was gone. The weeks after that were the quietest the house had ever been.

Those quiet weeks turned into quiet months, and then the quiet months turned into quiet years.

The dusty piano still sat in the corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enter eddie the emo...and then exit again


	17. It's Quiet Uptown | The Cast of Hamilton

_**1928** _

Loneliness is a feeling that Carlisle Cullen knows well. The house has changed since Edwards departure. He knows it’s his fault that Edward is gone and knows Esme knows that too. There is a chasm between them that he can’t quite bring himself to close because he knows he deserves it.

For the first time in a long time, Carlisle prays. He prays for Edward – that he’s safe, that he finds himself again. He prays for Esme – that she forgives him for pushing them both away, but he simply doesn’t know how else to cope.

And for himself. He can’t be alone again – he can’t do it. He knows it would destroy him. So he prays that whoever is up there sees the good he has tried to do.

Carlisle has lost his first friend, his brother, _his son_. And he feels himself losing the one woman who could make it easier. He is lost.

It takes an argument to bring him out of his stupor. It’s some stupid, insignificant thing that neither of them really care about. He breaks down in her arms and begins to forgive himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> turns out, communication is difficult and hard work without a mind reader


	18. Home | Cover by Edith Whiskers

_**1931** _

Slowly things start to get better. It takes a while, and it's shaky but it gets better.

Carlisle learns to open up, and they overcome it together. The house begins to become a home again, a quieter one yes, but it’s a home again. Life goes on, but it still isn't the same.

The dusty piano still sits in the corner of the too-large house. The wood beginning to discolour from the sunlight, though neither of them can bring themselves to put a cover over it. He is looking at that dusty piano when he hears Esme’s shout from the garden.

She catches his scent first. He’s home.

It takes a few months, but the dust is finally cleaned off the piano. The years of silence have obviously taken its toll, but Carlisle couldn’t care less. With time, it will be re-tuned, he’s just glad to hear it again.


End file.
